Recovering From Addiction Blog

12 STEP PROGRAM OPPORTUNISTS AND PARASITES

recoveringfromaddiction — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 16:14:40 +0000

In describing this ilk of attendee to meetings of NA-my former fellowship of choice(I no longer attend any 12 Step fellowship meetings)-I will clarify this by describing them as those who make money from other “addicts”.
First, I must explain my view of an “addict”. “Addicts” are those caught up in a continual addiction pattern which they have yet to overcome. Everyone else calling themselves as such uses the noun as an affectation or a distortion-because usually, they deny their complete recovery. At this point I use recovery as a past tense, since many have completely overcome their addiction and others use the term as a crutch, an excuse not to change their behaviors or cop out on general mistakes they make. In the end, a lot of this winds up ongoing self-deprecation.

Many of these “addicts” get a sort of Messianic complex where they distort the 12th Step, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry the message to addicts and practice these principles in all our affairs.” Actually, many use this to justify exploiting(sub-consciously or consciously) others and gratifying their lack of self-esteem by believing they are actually helping other addicts “recover” from their disease. The high relapse rates of most counseling, 12 Step Programs, halfway houses, and other recovery industry institutions and businesses show this these efforts as in-efficacious and exploitative.

I think they ought to get exposed as often as possible on a case by case basis. In particular, the self-styled gurus of all this nonsense ought to get turned out publicly at every chance to give overcoming addiction every opportunity to capitalize on one of the strongest, most effective strategies-peer pressure to overcome, rather than cliques and cultist characteristics. When the “recovered” share their strategies for free or charge for them on a result basis, we then have peerage subject to oversight by the end user(lol). The recovery industry has over a billion dollars of revenue each year and got created primarily to be affiliated with the counseling and pharmaceutical industries for the purpose of having ongoing clientele, like most businesses. Counselors with “credentials”, e.g. Psych degrees, counseling degrees, and “addiction” certifications, ought to be scrutinized on the basis of their results and efficacy and given consumer ratings by independent, nonprofit oversight groups funded by taxing these bastards. Yes, I don’t like most of them and see the counselors in particular, albeit most of them mislead by their teachers and other affiliated “professionals”, as parasites. These individuals keep themselves from business or employment which earns them a socially productive, honest means of making a living.

Of course, people pay psychics, and other pseudo professional counselors for a feel good or some form of edification inasmuch as I enjoy a good round of sexual pleasure for some form of social exchange-at least when I do this I am mostly going to get a desired result with some form of consensual exchange.

Yes, a good orgasm usually works better than counseling which sucks money from its clients for years or from 12 Step program fellowships where much of the prattle involves telling participants they have an incurable disease and may need meetings, sponsorship, and the Twelve Steps for the rest of their lives.

12 Step apologists

recoveringfromaddiction — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 00:27:52 +0000

a·pol·o·gist
[uh-pol-uh-jist] Show IPA
noun
1.
a person who makes a defense in speech or writing of a belief, idea, etc.
2.
Ecclesiastical.
a.
Also, a·pol·o·gete [uh-pol-uh-jeet] Show IPA. a person skilled in apologetics.
b.
one of the authors of the early Christian apologies in defense of the faith.

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It seems that 12 Steppers will go to any lengths to defend the “Program”, even if trying to critique.

This comes from a recent set of posts on Facebook. I couldn’t resist getting after this one. I like the woman writing this and I think with a couple of exceptions she has found a rational track for herself.

My critique of Kim Luciw observations and opinions: (I did not correct too many spelling and sentence fragment errors)

Here’s some controversy:

So, what is the deal with Anti-12 Step individuals?

A view from my own observation, to discuss:

There’s a couple problems for those who use alternative methods of recovery and their involvement in online recovery groups. In the name of controversy, here’s some points worth discussing that I’ve noticed:

1.) They have a lack of community & A wish to belong in one.

Those who have successfully found sobriety through an alternative route, are no longer in recovery. Many online communities that have alternative forums often have tumbleweeds in them. Because, when done successfully, they don’t care these groups exist. They have no desire to be a part of any recovery community. The goal of all other methods of alternative recovery are to get one recovered and have them go on about their lives. Just as being an active addict/alcoholic is a chapter in their past, recovering also becomes a chapter in their past. It has become painfully obvious that many want to still be in the recovery world. The only place where they are going to find other people still in recovery is going to be 12-Step orientated groups because they encourage lifetime participation. All the alternative recovery folks have moved on. These still wanting to linger in recovery have, in a way, not completed the alternative program(s) because they are still here.

This one above is an excellent observation very close to my own. To go a little further: Addiction and one of it’s “symptoms”, alcoholism are not diseases, so in the pathological sense, there’s no recovery. These are irrational premises. You stop the behavior, adopt new ones, live healthily, and move on.

2.) Dual diagnosis, they’re in the wrong community

Many people who have a hard time in the 12-Step model have an underlying mental disorder. Untreated. From my own experience, it is not the 12-Steps getting in the way of treatment. It’s the individuals not addressing their own mental disorders. If we step away from alcoholism/addiction – This is an issue front and center in the mental health industry, period. People not staying on medication, not seeing doctors, ignoring their problem. It’s two-fold when you add drugs and/or alcohol into the mix. Many of the people might do better in a community for those underlying (in many cases more prominent) disorders. Bi-polar, chronic depression, PTSD, Personality disorders, etc…

Dual Diagnosis is an erroneous term. One more time: neither addiction or mental disorders have been proven as bona fide diseases by valid, repeatable, studies in medical and physiological scientific research. This fact, makes your assertion irrational as there is no grounds for factual discussion.

3.) Unrecovered/Acting Out

I’m not saying all. But, let’s get real. Many of the hardcore Anti-12 Step opponents are not sober. These are the ones perpetually still stuck in the 12-Steps even though they despise the 12-Steps and its members. They spend a painful of their day in these groups rehashing their terrible experiences in the 12-Steps. When I first came in contact with some of these people. I listened and they have very valid problems with the 12-Step model. I understood that they need/needed a place to go to talk about it. However, it becomes acting out on other issues when they’ve been doing/talking about nothing else for over a year. It becomes abnormal. They are locked in a sort of prison. Not getting better and validating the same anger over and over and over. Except it becomes apparent (I left the group I was involved in after 6 months of the same conversations) that there are untreated issues behind the anger. That the anger has nothing to do with recovery at all. Recovery and the 12-Steps is a scapegoat. It allows some of them to hide the other problems.

Some people do not have to be abstinent. Some people actually learn to control their drug usage. Others probably ought to get and stay completely abstinent like I did.
Anger: what is healthy anger vs unhealthy anger? You have established no criteria for this emotion. Why do people like to stay angry…Duh, adrenalin? Has anyone taught these people a strategy for overcoming their anger? Who cares? You did a good thing, you got away from them. I got very angry when I started to realize I had adopted the 12 Step belief system only to find it, self-limiting and erroneous for my purposes. I got over the anger when I accepted responsibility for my emotions which actually was part of a grief process.

4.) Wish to be an advocate

This is where I separate them into two categories. Anti-12 Step (militant activists/critics) and 12-Step opponents (critics/moderate activists) The militant 12-Step opponents typically fit into the categories listed above. It’s not what they (militants) say that is so telling, It’s how often they say it and the bigotry or anger behind every statement. They are contradictory. Spending most of their time fighting AA to the point of hysterical blindness
_

How do you establish this criteria? I will tell you this from my experience: Most I have seen in the 12 Step programs have emotional imbalances and self-limiting beliefs (what you’ve previously called “dependencies”). What do you define as bigotry? Undue bias…these people have gotten hurt, they’re mad because they trusted people-didn’t have good boundaries?-and got abused in some way. Maybe they volunteered for it? For me, it is good to berate Steppers who have gotten into harmful behaviors. The nature of the program is Christianity via the Oxford Group which Bill Wilson watered down for easy administration. The premise is Original Sin. Tell me why it isn’t otherwise and give me good evidence so I might say you have a plausible argument.
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. By contrast 12-Step opponents have valid criticism and largely try bringing it to the forefront with tact. Many of these individuals work within the recovery industry. Some of these individuals have written books or articles. They come in and try to have discussions. Many stay away from recovery groups entirely because they understand that these groups will be full of the lifetime participation 12-Step members. Some very militant 12-Step members who lack tolerance or understanding. Some inject articles. Some simply enjoy the discussion groups.

Maybe you talk about critics like Stanton Peele here? I submit the premise put forth in Dr. Thomas Szasz’ book, “Ceremonial Chemistry” written in 1961 when he predicted the entire scenario. Peele elaborates in his book, “The Diseasing of America”, some years later. “Recovery” is an erroneous term used to make billions of dollars. There’s no recovery other than the application of common sense and medical help when physical damage has been caused as a result of an addictive lifestyle.

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Here’s some controversy: So, what is the deal with 12-Step members various veiws

A view from my own observation, to discuss:

There’s different levels of 12-Step members in Facebook forums. Here’s my personal observations from experience. Riddled with judgment!! But, It’s just an opinion!! half in fun and half, what I really think I see.
…

1.) The newcomer:

A rarity. Nobody seems to admit they are in their first year. They are largely lurking. They are active in other groups. Not this one, this one is for experienced members per the title. The newcomers are the most tolerant 12-Step members.
_

I question the use of the term, “newcomer”. It gets used in a dehumanizing way and is a nominalization and generalization too often around the Stepper social scene. I always liked the experience sharing peerage approach. When people tell how they beat addiction, it’s the example people unacquainted with overcoming addiction look for most as it gives them an open channel to choices that may work for them. Discarding the term also takes away a label from those seeking to hide behind it and not take responsibility for their actions, behaviors, thinking, and beliefs-crucial for full self-acceptance, the key to finding one’s way out of addiction, according to the CBT and REBT folks.

2.) The inexperienced newcomer posing as an experienced member

These guys mean well. They are excited about their recovery and are, in my opinion, the most intolerant members. These are the ones that fly the “AA is the only way” flag because they are elated to be relieved. The world of sobriety is new and magical. They are beginning a new life and can’t (for the time being) fathom anyone finding it through an alternative route. These members are in their first year and/or have not completed the steps.
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These types are no problem when you don’t go to meetings or talk the talk.

3.) The AA member whose addiction is secondary to an ignored primary/secondary ignored mental health issue

These guys are perpetually stuck, still in denial of sorts. They have addressed only half their issues. Recognizable has the most confrontational, multiple years. They can be confused with #2 as their style is the same one being “new” and this type stuck. These guys also contribute to the more unhealthy and skewed ideas of “the fellowship”. They are in AA with multiple years sobriety still mostly because their identity is stuck there. It is largely not because of the newcomer.
_

I like very much some of the value judgments here. You’re off base entirely on the mental health stuff…mental health gets pretty fuzzy as a valid term. How about reality coping skill application?

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4.) The “Thumpers”.

The healthiest members. These guys stick to the BB and plan as outlined. They don’t adhere to the fluffy books and strange fellowship pseudo-dogma. They think most like AA opponents strangely enough. They do not want non-AA described alcoholics muddling up the meetings and the program. No nonsense here. Most are in this forum for entertainment. They also spend a lot of time in other forums doing what AA teaches for people with multiple years sobriety = Helping newcomers.

ROFLMFAO!!! Best of all, these are what I would call cult members. They believe the nonsense, they have adopted the religiosity. People who want to recover ought to avoid them until they overcome their addiction through rational means. At this point, if wishing to pick corn out of the excrement, they may get some value from these fucktards.

_

5.) The middle of the roaders:

These are also healthier members and are the most open minded. They are tolerant and respect viewpoints from both sides. They are active in AA for their own sobriety and the newcomer. They enjoy many aspects of the fellowship and largely adhere to live and let live. Most of these members are not in Facebook groups. They tend to live a truly balanced life between recovery and the rest of the world.

Damn, you almost got it right on this one, but no cigar. These folks are wishy washy. Live and let live is for the weak and overly tolerant. This slogan has no value. In the end, this whole statement winds up erroneous and remains rife with personal opinion, with no critical, factual, value.

6.) Those in denial that they have simply outgrown this shit.

These guys don’t know what to do with themselves. They are holding onto AA and the recovery world by a string. These members can find themselves resentful of hanging around because in a way they believe in the message and in a way they are just tired. They mostly quietly leave the fellowship. many remain grateful throughout their lives. Some of these guys who get highly conflicted about outgrowing the fellowship ironically end up anti-12 Step.
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One last time you miss the mark, IMO. I qualify personally on the first two. I however, see the injustices of “the program” and speak out occasionally against it. I have an anti-12 Step view and I believe it a good thing from what you call the opponent standpoint. I have very much gratitude to myself and give myself all the credit. I did the work, I got the results. My life is as happy as I want to make it.

Freedom from Addiction

recoveringfromaddiction — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:13:05 +0000

For years, I felt trapped by my addiction. I was clean, I had stayed clean, I had written and shared the 12 Steps and practiced the “principles of the program”.

I had tried all kinds of God. Before that, I had been a Christian. I prayed and meditated. My prayers were not answered. Why? Not because I did not believe or have faith or good works. They did not get answered because nothing is there to answer them. I had known for a long time that spiritual principles were moral ideals created by humans which have nothing to do with the divine. It dawned on me that divinity is only a concept based in subjective, sometimes shared, perceptions of the world. It like “God” or Gods, does not really exist except in the minds of humans. Those beliefs can sometimes, however, manifest in the world in a twisted, causative fashion, not like performed by a “perfect being” like a God. The spiritual “principles” found in NA and AA, were defined contextually by humans, by the adherents of the steps. The 12 Steps are based in the God Control of the Oxford Group-a fanatical, lay, Christian cult, founded in the early 20th century. On a good day, the Steps are secular, deterministic Christianity, not a good program to end addiction.

The best result, according to the 12 Step scriptures, comes when the “disease” is arrested and the adherent gives his trust in a higher power which really, is in one form or another, a bastardization of the Judeo Christian God. Of course, by practicing a progressive form this “recovery”, the addict can get a better way of life…and some do by simply believing their lives are better and living that way.
My life did get better, but the Steps did little to improve it. I went to result oriented therapy and self-improvement trainings and they gave me faster, and more efficacious progress than the steps ever would. I stayed in denial this was the case, ever giving credit to the “program” and the fellowship, and a non-existent God of my understanding. On my last two trips(my 12th and 13th writings and sharings)through the steps, I realized I could not get any more from them. I realized I had recovered completely, many years before. I was wasting my time on the Steps, service work, and the NA fellowship. I, like so many others I didn’t see in meetings for years who are still clean, had outgrown the 12 Step fellowships and program. Addiction, I realized, is not a disease in the scientific sense-it has never been proven as such. While drug addiction’s toxic effects can cause damage and disease, like any hazardous lifestyle it is NOT a true pathology, merely a behavioral problem. After extensive reading of valid scientific research and reading the other inquiries of a similar nature, I concluded as they-Addiction is not a disease.

For years, I had accepted the untruth addiction is a progressive, incurable and fatal disease from with there is no known cure! What a self-limiting belief. What curse! I saw how wrong this was and harmful-no, none of this gave me license to start using again. I felt empowered because I realized I had made the decision to stop using. I had undertaken the behavioral modifications necessary to stop and stay stopped. I had chosen to get away from people who practiced drug addiction. Yes, I did get some good support from people in NA I met, but it had nothing to do with God, HPs, Steps, service work or any of the program stuff. It had to do with simple, peer support.

For years, I had wearied of the religious nonsense prevalent in sharing in meetings. I wearied of the slogans which turn out to be deletions, distortions and nominalizations of human speech. I wearied of the lack of integrity of too many individuals in the rooms. I made friends outside “the rooms”, and flourished as a result, finally discarding the false notion I would always need to stay connected to the Steppers. I left the mainstream of NA and banded together with some other addicts to meet regularly in support of each other. Over half of them had less than two years and now they have four and five years without sponsors and steps and their lives have greatly improved and there is mutual respect. At first, these meetings still had a 12 Step flavor, just no God, but this referencing is unavoidable even for the self-proclaimed atheist using the Steps as “spiritual principles”. We realized-with our own individual interpretations-the program is best discarded when complete recovery is sought. Thus, we all have completely “recovered” very simply, not in the sense of disease but in the sense of discarding an erroneous set of cultist beliefs which cause more harm than good. All of us experienced anger as a result of our deprogramming and it has all but left us now. We stay away from the brainwashed and hopelessly addicted as we know their malady as self-propagating and cultist. We would pray for them but it does not work. We would evangelize them but they go and use instead of using common sense. We realized we overcame addiction very simply through the application of common sense and rational thinking practice.

We invite all to join us in complete freedom from the bondage of the cult.

SPIRITUALITY

recoveringfromaddiction — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 06:37:22 +0000

spir•it•u•al
[spir-i-choo-uh l] Show IPA
adjective
1.
of, pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; incorporeal.
2.
of or pertaining to the spirit or soul, as distinguished from the physical nature: a spiritual approach to life.
3.
closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, etc.: the professor’s spiritual heir in linguistics.
4.
of or pertaining to spirits or to spiritualists; supernatural or spiritualistic.
5.
characterized by or suggesting predominance of the spirit; ethereal or delicately refined: She is more of a spiritual type than her rowdy brother.
EXPAND
noun
10.
a spiritual or religious song: authentic folk spirituals.
11.
Spirituals, affairs of the church.
12.
a spiritual thing or matter.

In twelve step “programs” spiritual means religious-not what we see in the definitions above.(oh wait, maybe I am wrong, the program is about religion, isn’t it?) It pertains also to the secular, Christian morality which most steppers espouse the practice of as they come from the twelve steps as defined by Bill Wilson when he expanded them from the six principles of the Oxford Group(http://orange-papers.org/orange-secrets.html ).
When I got clean, I wanted to learn how to stay clean permanently. As a result of looking at my history of addiction, I developed a realistic, common sense perspective on it. I developed aversions to using drugs and other compulsions until I got addiction free. After many years, I realized that thinking of addiction as an incurable and fatal disease kept me trapped in that belief, that I would always be an addict, no matter what. I now know, I am not an addict, so long as I do not develop obsessive and compulsive patterns and practice them. I don’t need Christian morality to keep me clean. I don’t have to pray. I can be an atheist of the militant variety if I choose.
I can have resentments that don’t bother me or keep me trapped in a pattern leading to using drugs. I can discard them without a God, Higher Power, or prayer, quite easily; more easily than with the religion of NA or AA. I also realized the pecking order hierarchy found in local fellowships and how “newcomers” get berated and looked down upon even when revered as fragile, babes in the woods. I can judge, condemn, and proselytize the members all I want. I can bash them and their cultism. They don’t save any lives. They chase away most who would get clean with the religiosity and cultism in their “meetings”. Everyone who gets clean and stays clean does so out of the power of their actions and will. It’s a goddamned shame to see people who could and ought to celebrate their empowerment toss the credit to inane and nonsensical whimsy and fairy tales. I have even less use for those who would capitalize on their “recovery” by going into the “treatment” industry. They wind up parasites on a good day. We can lump them in with the “process” oriented therapists in this enterprise. Billions of dollars have gotten wasted on strategies that have so little effectiveness a doctor wouldn’t dare prescribe a medication with such a poor efficacy.
Next we have the “service junkies”. The Hospitals and Institutions variety seem the worst of these, thinking themselves on a sacred mission which saves many lives. How few new members come to “the rooms” and stay as a result of their unselfish efforts. How many of these folks wonder why their efforts seem so futile, like I finally did.
After many years serving my local NA fellowship, I gave it up because I could no longer support a cause which had so little result except as a religious organization with an ideology I found repugnant. I found it immoral to serve a purpose with so little result…I no longer wanted to waste my time and effort in a lost cause for the few while the many went elsewhere.
Finally, we have the worst of it. We have addicts who disdained NA and went to an even worse and dastardly misguidance-the cult of Alcoholics Anonymous. Over the years, when I would complain about NA(the lesser of the evils, though still by any measure, an evil to be avoided); members who found their cult “home” in AA would encourage me to attend that farcical, bilge pool of brainwash since it had better spirituality and recovery than NA. Ohhhhh, suffer me not but to show great abhorrence and no respect for the origination of all this folly. Sorry folks, a few million out of hundreds of millions does not a success story make.
I have posted my perspective on many 12 Step oriented sites and in every case have met with disdain and fear based, “knee jerk” reactions instead of openmindedness, tolerance, and acceptance as the religion encourages. In fact, some have gotten downright belligerent in their statements and intent. I welcome the opportunity to meet them head on, but it’s like fighting with the slow witted in a contest requiring critical thinking.
In the end, on a good day, their spirituality is a watered down morality drawn from religion. The design is about dumbing down and subjugation, for if most recovered, they would have no need for the program and “the rooms” and would leave it all behind to shrivel and die. Perhaps not-perhaps if complete recovery got encouraged and its correct elements espoused, enough success stories would hang around long enough for the next batch to help those on their way to victory over their addiction…and yes, we do recover, COMPLETELY, if we empower ourselves, give credit where it seems due and don’t look back.

We don’t think atheists can call themselves spiritual in good sense. Calling their actions moral or ethical, yes, but spiritual? How ridiculous.

Self Gratitude

recoveringfromaddiction — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 08:17:04 +0000

NA and the 12 Steps did not save my life.

I adopted a personal strategy-some of which, in the beginning of my abstinence, came from NA, its literature, the 12 Steps, and members of NA. However, I learned how I could stay clean, applied it and will have twenty-five years of a drug and addiction free life in 02-12.

The notion put forth by Steppers, has a particular ring to it, it’s the ring of “God Control” or Group of Druggies or “Good Orderly Direction”. Now the last two seem innocuous, and would be if they didn’t get laden with slogans and erroneous beliefs espoused by NA literature and more deprecating still by the participants in meetings of that fellowship.
So here’s the positive stuff about all of it:

I got off drugs

I got away from my cronies who used and sold drugs

I got into drug free environments and venues which had some supportive peer group pressure to gain and maintain abstinence a.k.a. “clean time”

I allowed the statements about “staying clean no matter what”, empower me

I stayed safe until the cravings went away and I learned to cope with my life without addiction

I also gleaned some common sense strategies about how to live my life without addiction. However, I didn’t know addiction as anything else but an “incurable, progressive, and fatal disease from which there is no known cure”. A pretty damning set of claims which get refuted regularly by the consistent choice of abstinence. I finally got to see the reality of me wanting to have complete abstinence for many years before I stopped. I learned to see my life as happier and more productive without addiction, as addiction had not given me consistent rewards for a number of years. The whole thing has not required religion or spirituality, just belief in myself and my health and well-being.

I learned, through a consistent review of the facts, I had “recovered” very shortly after getting clean and losing the desire to use. I gave myself credit for my achievements in this success and gained confidence. When I discarded the idea I had a disease, which was arrested and waiting to become full-blown again, it empowered me further and reinforced the wellness of staying abstinent and changing my life further.

Finally, after years of boredom and frustration attending meetings of NA, it dawned on me I didn’t need nor have to attend anymore. I also saw the folly and the harm the whole thing does and how 12 Step programs are very unattractive to most seeking strategies for abstinence or for those who can achieve moderation-something I have no desire to pursue.
My “inventory” of the meeting attendance behaviors revealed I needed to seek other social venues to get what I needed from people. Consequently, besides the valued friends I got from the NA fellowship, I also have valued friends and associates who do not attend NA.

I saw that NA had become a lonely hearts club of the worst kind for many and I myself had been a more than willing participant, but finally, like the meetings and their lack of value, I abandoned the futility of it all.

For some years now, I have gotten happier, more fulfilled, more confident, and emotionally healthy as a result of my choice to go a different direction toward happier futures than NA provides.

Each day I give gratitude to myself and the positive decisions I have made.

RECOVERED FROM ADDICTION

recoveringfromaddiction — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 13:36:34 +0000

Drugless miseries and other topics…

Reason number 491 I stay away from almost all NA and other 12 Step meetings:

The sharing in and out of meetings and in fellowship conversations centers too much in erroneous beliefs.

Like:

-We have an incurable, progressive, and fatal disease

-Recovery is a life long, ongoing process

-If we don’t work the steps we will die or relapse

-We have to have a higher power or power greater than ourselves

-NA and other 12 Step programs are the only way to get recovery

-We never completely recover

-overcoming addiction must be a spiritual program

-addiction has a spiritual aspect

-NA and 12 Step programs are spiritual and not religious

I don’t think I have to go on here. The above are all false and ridiculous. Yes, we can find some positive, rational, common sense solutions to addiction that work in some NA literature and the shared experiences of others. We can stop using, lose the desire to use, and find a new way of life via our own will and inspirations. We can develop a greater awareness of our beliefs, behavior, feelings, and thinking patterns and change them more quickly and completely without divinity, religiosity, and God/Higher Power, and spiritual/moral principles. We can and do create happiness regularly without the latterly.

Those of us who have changed our beliefs have found radical changes in the way we think and feel about ourselves and others. We can practice indifference in positive ways with positive results and an enjoyable path in life.

Like so many others who have experienced “spontaneous remission” with addiction, we can make a decision to stop using, stop using, and develop personal regimens to stay stopped. We have seen far more people do this than those who come to NA and other 12 step programs. We have seen many who used to come to those programs who have never worked the 12 Steps. Additionally, we have seen those who did not finish them or worked them once or twice who quit going to meetings and have stayed clean happily for many years. We have also seen many with long term abstinence who used to attend regularly who have not attended regularly for most of their clean time. A lot of them have told us they didn’t like what they heard in meetings as they found this counterproductive to their happiness and successes.

The movement away from Twelve Step programs is gaining momentum in the general addiction treatment communities. NA has been attempting to change its image to become more inclusive of those who differ in their beliefs and lifestyles, but still, the atheist, rationalist, non disease oriented approach is disdained because it goes contrary to the slogans, steps, and God Control of the religious cult of NA.

A growing number of us have come out to say that we don’t need a religious/spiritual approach to recover completely. We take credit for our empowerment in overcoming addiction because we know it as a set of beliefs and behaviors that we chose to participate in that we can choose to option out of for other more life enhancing ways of living. In fact, some of us are accepting that we have recovered completely. We also have come to believe that we had a addictive condition that was learned and imprinted. We have undone this and replaced it with a more life affirming and joyous set of beliefs and practices.

We have expanded our social network outside the NA fellowship, keeping those friends still in it who have discarded the old religion and spiritual approaches.

We know we don’t have to strive for perfection since human ideals of those concepts wind up imperfect on a good day. We don’t wallow in self pity or worry about humility even though we eschew arrogance and the insecurities of egocentricity. We live a moral code that has humane standards mostly derived from practical, rational bases. We stay within the law of the land and maintain a posture that lets us live free and within our civil rights. We take responsibility for ourselves whenever possible and practical. We have overcome the notions that our lives seem like a miserable struggle without addiction.

We love and allow ourselves to feel and receive the love of others.

NA messages…ARCNA 24

recoveringfromaddiction — Sun, 30 May 2010 03:00:11 +0000

ARCNA 24

Conventions of Narcotics Anonymous bore me.

I have gone to all the Arizona Regional Conventions except one. Last year, I went because the convention was held at a five star resort, outside Tucson, Arizona. I went for the resort and to see some good friends-I got threatened by some knucklehead whom in the “old days”, over twenty years ago, I would have pulverized. Oddly enough, a few weeks after his threat, he had a bad ATV accident that crippled him for life…hmmmm.

About fifteen years ago, my old roommate, who is now one of my best friends, and I, got our lives threatened by a known murderer who served as the site location chair for that year’s convention because we had exposed how some addicts had stolen substantial funds from the previous year’s convention. That individual later got lung cancer.
Hmmm number two.
Supposedly he recovered from his malady, but we haven’t seen him in years. He tried to make amends for his threat, but it, like most insincere efforts, wound up too little, too late. He’s lucky we didn’t call the police.

Somehow, in the local NA fellowship, too many still cling to their violent criminal nature and haven’t changed very much. Informants are shielded by gurus seeking adulation and people exalt their ex felon status instead of moving forward toward successful, productive, futures. Some of these recovering addicts are still very racist and cling to gang mentalities of various types. In spite of all this, many have changed and lead productive lives-we don’t see most of us around because we don’t have time to deal with the socially inept and those who want to stay stuck in a “disease” which does not exist.

I got asked to speak in a workshop today with another speaker-a black woman from Detroit. She had a great story; how she had transcended HIV and her life as a heroin addicted prostitute, to become a happy housewife, living at a retirement resort with her loving husband of over twenty years. She had a very entertaining share. I overlooked her Christianity and naming Jesus as her God. Such got evidenced as my wisdom in sharing second to her.

While I loved her story and her moxie. It was clear to me that no miracles had occurred in her life as a recovered addict. She had done it all with the new medicines and the love and support of those around her-Jesus didn’t do shit.

I don’t like the “program” of NA. It does not work effectively to end addiction. It claims to arrest it and give people better lives while telling them they have to keep working the steps if they want lifelong abstinence-it doesn’t do that either. It’s religious bullshit without a name. Secular “spirituality”? Nope, NA is a religious cult, a little more watered down than AA. Make no mistake about it.

The peer pressures of NA fellowships’ socialization process do give the tools they need to recover completely without the religion. That’s what really keeps people clean and encourages them to have happy, healthy lives.

I shared well. I will endeavor to MP3 my part of the workshop and post it.

Today, I know that I have fully recovered from recovery and the brainwash of NA’s twelve step “program”. Today, I am free of addiction and know that I do not nor ever did, have an incurable disease. I had addiction-a set of beliefs, behaviors, and thought patterns that gave me obsessions and compulsions. I haven’t had those in many years. I stopped taking drugs(including alcohol), lost the desire to use, and found a way of life without addiction. I have seen many others do the same without the “program”.

As I walked about the hotel where the convention was held, very briefly, I saw a sparse crowd compared to other years. They will all be there tonight, looking at each other, maintaining the mystique of the “old-timer” and our wisdom, and at the same time keeping those without the clean time dumbed-down with slogans and injurious beliefs and thought stopping statements.

I will not attend. I feel happy that I no longer give my time and energy in service to the NA Fellowship. Truly, I gave more to NA than NA gave to me. I don’t feel slighted or shorted. I am glad I got onto other pursuits…

We do RECOVER…completely.

Defects?

recoveringfromaddiction — Mon, 17 May 2010 05:18:14 +0000

MAY 17 >>> “Defects”
“We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

Step Six

After taking the Fifth Step, many of us spend some time considering “the exact nature of our wrongs” and the part they’d played in making us who we were. What would our lives be like without, say, our arrogance?

Sure, arrogance had kept us apart from our fellows, preventing us from enjoying and learning from them. But arrogance had also served us well, propping up our ego in the face of critically low self-esteem. What advantage would be gained if our arrogance were removed, and what support would we be left with?

With arrogance gone, we would be one step closer to being restored to our proper place among others. We would become capable of appreciating their company and their wisdom and their challenges as their equals. Our support and guidance would come, if we chose, from the care offered us by our Higher Power; “low self-esteem” would cease to be an issue.

We will do well to believe we have assets and liabilities and not “defects of character”. We do not need spirituality and the care of Higher Powers or a “God of our Understanding” to recover. Believing that we have an incurable, progressive, and fatal disease can limit us severely. In fact, many have found that they were perfectly imperfect humans who can change their beliefs and behaviors by empowering themselves and learning some simple tools that don’t involve the 12 Steps and their religiosity. While we may have learned and gained some value from them, it does not happen quickly enough to have great import for most. Most have not come to NA or have left in seeing the “program” had little to offer. Many of us who stayed, worked the program, and did not relapse after many years, have distanced ourselves because of the unhealthiness that predominates the meetings. We have found many other methods that have given us good lives away from NA.

One by one, we examined our character defects this way, and found them all defective—after all, that’s why they’re called defects. And were we entirely ready to have God remove all of them? Yes.

We don’t need to get willing to have HPs or God remove our personal liabilities. We can come to believe that we have done it by our own choices; changing our beliefs, thinking, and behavior at will, once we discover beliefs that limit us. We replace self limiting beliefs with self affirming, self enhancing beliefs. These change our thinking, feelings, and behaviors. We attain the identity we always wanted.

We did this sometimes with an insight we gained from NA, but usually, we got this from outside help.

Just for today: I will thoroughly consider all my defects of character to discover whether I am ready to have the God of my understanding remove them.

JFT: We change our beliefs, thinking and behaviors through changing our beliefs, entertaining new thoughts, and practicing healthy behaviors. We do this with the support of others and mostly, through our own efforts.

______________________________________

We once again eschew the static technology of the Twelve Steps of NA for new, more elegant means of change. Usually, this comes from clearing ourselves of brainwashing. We come to believe that we have changed by our efforts and by our will and this empowers us to further growth and progress.

Many of us have done seminars and enjoined hypnosis, NLP, EFT, and other results oriented therapies, leaving behind the slow, tedious, process oriented therapies, and the impotency of 12 Step “spirituality”. We have changed ourselves for the better and for good, gaining real self esteem that does not have original sin or secular Christianity as its root belief system. We have also used cognitive behavioral therapy, and good old rational thinking to reshape our lives. Some of us have embraced religion and spirituality without becoming cultists and have enriched our lives with these pursuits.

Many members left the rooms of NA long ago, only to return periodically, purely for social contact, to reconnect with some who remain.

The more I look, the more I see people who have gone on to bigger and better things. A common theme says NA gave them a good start and delivered on the tools necessary to get clean, lose the desire to use, and to find a new way to live. Also, they found it desirable to move on, in the latterly, toward more progressive strategies than NA has to offer. I have seen many happy people with long term abstinence who rarely attend meetings or work the Steps.

They found as have I that my only “defect of character” had to do with self limiting beliefs.

“Newcomers” and carrying the “message”

recoveringfromaddiction — Thu, 06 May 2010 14:38:56 +0000

“Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry the message to the addict who still suffers.”

Tradition Five

After twenty three years clean and attending THOUSANDS OF MEETINGS, I have not seen many groups do this. Rarely, have I seen members go out, do twelve step calls and bring using addicts desiring complete abstinence into meetings. VERY RARELY.

Mostly, the still suffering addict is in the room, clean. The suffering does not come from a disease. It comes from shame and self loathing and many times, physical problems caused by the consequences of the addiction lifestyle.

Our home group means a lot to us. After all, where would we be without our favorite NA meeting? Our group sometimes sponsors picnics or other activities. Often, home group members get together to see a movie or go bowling. We have all made good friendships through our home group, and we wouldn’t trade that warmth for the world.

These activities remain as some of the positive aspects of groups. Doing activities and associating with clean people helps create peer pressures to keep us clean so long as they don’t constantly mouth “program speak”.

But sometimes we must take inventory of what our group is doing to fulfill its primary purpose—to carry the message to the still-suffering addict. Sometimes when we go to our meetings, we know almost everyone and get caught up in the laughter and fun. But what about the newcomer? Have we remembered to reach out to the new people who may be sitting by themselves, lonely and frightened? Do we remember to welcome those visiting our group?

Over the years I have not seen the members of groups do this very well. In my local fellowship they love to pass around meeting lists with members’ phone numbers instead of very many members introducing themselves to those new to NA and welcoming them as an equal.

What about the “newcomer”? I think this term needs discarding. It gets used to degrade people new to NA, seeking complete abstinence and how to maintain it. It treats them like children who don’t know anything-who have no life experience or maturity. It assumes that there exists some great occult wisdom that the 12 Steps and the NA fellowship will impart to those who make great effort working the program and going to meetings for years.

This ignores the simplicity found in the fifth tradition.

It makes us want to ask when does the addict lose his or her newcomer status? Are those who relapse newcomers, even though they may have worked the program and come to meetings for years? Hell no!

Some people who protect the victims in the fellowship will call people newcomers until they have years clean, showing pity on them so they can slide by on behavior that harms themselves and others and does not exemplify taking responsibility for their actions.

The love found in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous helps us recover from addiction. But once we have gotten clean, we must remember to give to others what was so freely given to us. We need to reach out to the addict who still suffers. After all, “the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting.”

Why is the “newcomer the most important person at any meeting”? Because we can only keep what we have by giving it away…that is those of us who aren’t “newcomers” any more.

The Fifth Tradition has a couple of key sentences:

“The message is that an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to live…”

It doesn’t say how. This reading has importance because it doesn’t put a price on stopping using, losing the desire to use and finding a new way to live the way the rest of the literature does. It doesn’t tell us we have an progressive, fatal, incurable disease. It actually tells us we can recover from addiction.

Calling people “newcomers” and treating them like children is disrespectful and not loving and caring. Practicing thought stopping behaviors is not loving. Judging for a lack of knowledge or experience is not loving. Judging for a difference of knowledge and experience that doesn’t involve the 12 Steps is not loving. On a good night, those with a differing experience will receive patronizing statements and disrespect.

We have seen people get up to the podium time and time again beat themselves up because they haven’t followed the NA way. If this is happening something is wrong with the program. It doesn’t encourage individual choice and freedom enough to promote healthy self love. Somehow there’s not enough encouragement given for progress made to instill confidence and pride. After all, we are told that we will never recover completely from this “incurable disease”.

Happily, to the contrary, we can COMPLETELY RECOVER from the erroneous belief that we have a disease. We can find ways to live that don’t involve addictive behaviors, beliefs and thinking. We cease to be a newcomer quickly and realize that new or not we are peers in our progress and as former addicts. Many of us are consenting adults, free to live our lives as we choose.

Just for today: I’m grateful for the warm fellowship I’ve found in my home group. I will reach out my hand to the still-suffering addict, offering that same fellowship to others.

JFT: I will share my experiences with addicts who suffer from the stigmas of addiction disease falsehoods. I will share the truth about recovering from recovery. I will share this with those who are new to NA; that they don’t need the steps or spirituality and that they quit by a decision and they can stay abstinent by decision. We can show everyone that doing behaviors other than addiction seems another key and that believing we will stay clean no matter what so long as we choose remains our great truth.

============================================

I evaluated my former home group in the above context-Welcome Home-NA at the VA-in an email a couple of months ago. What I received from people was negative feedback and defensive retorts. NA groups in the Phoenix Area do not reach out to the suffering addict at large. They only carry the message to addicts in their meetings. Very, very few addicts new to NA come to meetings on their own via the helpline or a twelve step call. Almost all the addicts we saw at the NA/VA meeting came from half way houses and treatment centers. They really weren’t so new to NA or twelve step programs. Most of them didn’t join our home group or stay in NA. NA in Phoenix is not growing in leaps and bounds. The vast majority of those attending meetings have been around for years. Eventually, unless some progressive things happen, the fellowship will shrink and die out as its old members do.

Most people new to NA get turned off by the bullshit that spews out of the mouths of addicts at meetings when they first come around. Most do not come back unless coerced. Why? A lot of people see that NA, like all 12 Step programs, is a religious cult. And while it may seem that the message is watered down from the Oxford Group “god control” evangelism, it still reeks of secular Christianity and monotheism. It has too much cultist behavior to really be attractive to the majority of people wanting to end their addiction.

Effective, complete recovery from addiction does not involve spirituality. It works best on a practical level. We empower ourselves by getting clean, overcoming the desires to use, and by finding new ways to believe and live without addiction. This is really what recovered addicts do in the “program” and out of it. The difference is that most in the program do not take credit for the good they have done themselves. They do not walk beyond the steps, they think they need to keep working them over and over and make little progress.

In my own progress beyond addiction, I noticed that all the techniques I learned outside of NA and the steps took me farther in life and gave me much more progress than that program. I learned and implemented belief change strategies that rid me of patterns that kept me from growing life’s greater enjoyments for years. I made more progress in less than two years than in twenty one years of working the steps.

The steps are too much based in Christian ideals to have great human import. They are unrealistic living patterns based in nonsense. The good that comes from them has to do with some contexts of rational and cognitive therapies and good old common sense. And while their proponents claim miraculous results, they do not work well for most people who recover from addiction. We get better results when we treat people as equals and ask them what they want to get from NA-we may find they don’t want NA at all. If we do, we can accept that and continue to change NA into something that seems more attractive and gives better outcomes.

I don’t think that will come unless the 12 Steps of NA and the literature are modified or discarded to make them more practical and humane, devoid of the ideals of Christianity.

God Does For Us???

recoveringfromaddiction — Sat, 01 May 2010 19:11:03 +0000

Subject: APR 30 >>> God Does For Us
“Ongoing recovery is dependent on our relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us what we find impossible to do for ourselves.”

Basic Text, p. 96

No, complete recovery does not depend on any sort of God. Addiction is a set of behaviors, not a disease. Addiction behaviors can get unlearned, the beliefs associated with them can get extinguished and replaced with self enhancing behavior and beliefs. God or Higher Power has no necessity in this. We can accept and care for ourselves completely and this works better than blind faith or trust in processes or deities ever will. Millions have recovered this way with no meetings, no steps, no sponsors, and no NA.

How often have we heard it said in meetings that “God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves?” At times we may get stuck in our recovery, unable, afraid, or unwilling to make the decisions we know we must make to move forward. Perhaps we are unable to end a relationship that just isn’t working. Maybe our job has become a source of too much conflict. Or perhaps we feel we need to find a new sponsor but are afraid to begin the search. Through the grace of our Higher Power, unexpected change may occur in precisely the area we felt unable to alter.

We sometimes allow ourselves to become stuck in the problem instead of moving forward toward the solution. At these times, we often find that our Higher Power does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Perhaps our partner decides to end our relationship. We may get fired or laid off. Or our sponsor tells us that he or she can no longer work with us, forcing us to look for a new one.

None of this has anything to do with a God or HP, or even Good Orderly Direction. It has to do with personal choice. It has to do with confidence that we give ourselves and the validation we learn to give ourselves. We can and have gotten that from SOME people in the NA fellowship, but it has nothing to do with spirituality or religion…oh yeah, have you forgotten the fact that NA really is a RELIGIOUS CULT? We learn that we can give ourselves direction in our lives. We get feedback from everyone and everything around us. We construct an environment filled with resources that support our purposes. We identify and find our purposes and construct the appropriate identity. We empower ourselves to make life enhancing decisions. We end our addiction by choice. We made a choice to get clean. We made a choice to go through the cravings and beat down that which feeds our desires to use. We learn and practice the strategies that keep us clean. We find happiness inside ourselves and bring it out anytime we wish. We look at our mistakes as opportunities to grow from the feedback they give us…maybe they really aren’t mistakes?

Sometimes what occurs in our lives can be frightening, as change often seems. But we also hear that “God never closes a door without opening another one.” As we move forward with faith, the strength of our Higher Power is never far from us. Our recovery is strengthened by these changes.

God does not enter in to this equation AT ALL. Change constantly occurs, even in the loops we have stuck with. We can choose to strengthen ourselves from most events that occur. We will see the loops that keep us “stuck” and will discard them and replace them with beliefs that aid us and make us feel good about ourselves.

Just for today: I trust that the God of my understanding will do for me what I cannot do for myself.

JFT: Many great things come to me as I help myself and practice getting more efficient with those methods and techniques. I have a life today which I created and can change at my will…

________________________________________________

Some of us in NA will move past the bullshit in the literature and the stupidity we hear people with fucked up beliefs spout off in meetings. We see the practical, rational strategies found in the literature. We redact all the religious nonsense from the Oxford Group out and use the helpful things. We get rid of the Christianity and its self deprecating beliefs. We surround ourselves with people we admire. We start meetings devoid of readings supporting “God Control” and the dogmas left over from AA and the Oxford Group. We believe we have recovered completely and will stay clean for the rest of our lives. We invite those who look for a secular, non religious path and want the peer support of others recovering completely. We have found a new way to live and share it with each other.